The Tragicomedy of Volodymyr Zelensky: From Slapstick to Statesmanship (Sort Of)
Once upon a time in Ukraine, a comedian rose to fame playing a bumbling everyman who becomes president in a feel-good TV satire.
Humor
Idiocracy: A Satirical Warning About the Future of Human Intelligence
Released in 2006, Idiocracy is a dystopian comedy film directed by Mike Judge, co-written by Judge and Etan Cohen, and produced by 20th Century Fox.
Phone Withdrawals
My first week owning a dumb phone has been, well, dumb. In fact, it’s been so uneventful, I’m not totally sure what to do with myself.
My New “Dumbphone”
My phone finally arrives in the mail. It’s small. Ugly. It’s “dumb.” And it looks like it was invented during the Herbert Hoover administration.
One Night in Lancaster, PA
Lancaster, Pennsylvania. The windchill is negative four and I can no longer feel my unmentionables. I’m about to play my fiddle and tell funny stories to a room of people at the community center.
The William Penn Overture
I like Pennsylvania. They’re nice here. They say “yous” and “yinz” and “soda pop.” They have Appalachian manners, a steelman’s work ethic, and potholes big enough to swallow Peterbilts.
How to be a Real Columnist
Here is how the typical morning of a columnist goes. You sit down at the computer. And before you write, you begin by asking yourself the age-old question, “Why should anyone care what I have to say?”
Shaking Your Butt
How did I get here? What career path led me to this moment? Why am I onstage, before several hundred, shaking my fundaments?
Donald Trump Launches Political Blitz Krieg
Well, we did it. Like rebellious teenagers trying to put one over on the principal, we ignored the wisdom of our betters (Democrats) and elected “literally Hitler.” Now our tyrant has been in office for under a month, and we’re learning the consequences of our foolishness. However, there are a few minor differences between our Scottish Hitler and his Aryan predecessor with the silly Charlie Chaplin mustache, that deserve mentioning.
Trump Signs Executive Order to Deport Illegal Immigrants to Australia: “Worked for the British, Didn’t It?”
In what may be the boldest immigration policy in U.S. history, former President Donald J. Trump has just signed Executive Order 1776, ordering the mass deportation of illegal immigrants to Australia—a plan he claims is “just a little historical throwback to the good old days of the British Empire.”
Country Folk
The January snow/ice storm kept us snowbound for seven days. My farm tractor couldn’t move the 4” of snow on top of the 2” of ice that was over the 6” of the first snow on our ¾ mile driveway.
Three Dog Night
In light of the critical world events taking place in the news, I know many of you are anxious to know more about my dogs.
America’s Culinary Genius: A Story of No Respect
America has given the world some of its most beloved foods, and yet, when it comes to culinary prestige, we’re treated like the fast-food drive-thru of global cuisine.
Evening Soup with Basement Joe, Vol III – Episode 146: Ballots, Lawnmowers, and Sopa Campesina
In today’s episode from the first year of his regime, the old man learns about holidays and regulations, and the truth about California.
Adam Schiff Actually Thinks His Opinion Matters
Senator “Chicken Little” Schiff (D, Dante’s Inferno) went on Meet the Press last week and screamed that the sky is falling – again. Amazingly, he still thinks someone cares about his warnings.
Evening Soup with Basement Joe, Vol III – Episode 145: A Trip to Chicago, and Wild Mushroom and Onion Soup
In today’s episode from the first year of his regime, the old man visits a one-party town in this alternate universe that looks an awful lot like Chicago…
Operation Greenland Freedom: Because Size Matters
The United States has a moral obligation to liberate Greenland from the icy grip of despair. Sure, the 56,000 Greenlanders don’t seem to be asking for help, but what do they know?
Evening Soup with Basement Joe, Vol III – Episode 144: Nukes and Numbers and Soupe de Poisson a la Rouille
In today’s episode from the first year of his regime, the old man is called out on his staff’s sharing of confidential information.
Evening Soup with Basement Joe, Vol III – Episode 143: Mittens and Jobs and Sunchoke and Leek Soup
In today’s episode from the first year of his regime, the old man is in Michigan, on an overnight trip pitching his regime’s latest bill to friendly audiences.
The IOCT: West Point’s Legal Form of Torture
Ah, the Indoor Obstacle Course Test (IOCT). A rite of passage so infamous that it’s etched in the nightmares of West Point graduates everywhere.