Snark

1985: The Future of Warfare Was Supposed to Be Blinding

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Imagine explaining to a military planner in 1985 that the laser weapons designed to blind enemy soldiers would never become the future of warfare. During the Cold War, some experts genuinely believed that bullets would eventually give way to directed-energy weapons that would simply remove an enemy’s ability to see. Then reality intervened. It turned out that permanently blinding someone wasn’t viewed as the humanitarian breakthrough some had imagined. The battlefield stayed remarkably old-school, and the age of the battlefield ophthalmologist never quite arrived.

God Was Too Unbelievable, So We Gave Him a Spaceship

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Somewhere along the way, America decided Genesis was too unbelievable—but extraterrestrials flying across the galaxy to genetically modify primitive hominids sounded perfectly reasonable. From Mark Passio’s theories to Ancient Aliens and today’s UAP obsession, an alternative creation story has quietly seeped into popular culture. We didn’t stop asking who created us; we just traded heaven for outer space, angels for aliens, and creation for a genetics lab in a spaceship. God was apparently too unbelievable—so we gave Him a spaceship.

North Korea Discovers Internet Porn

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Imagine spending your entire life being told your country is the greatest civilization on Earth… then someone hands you a Wi-Fi password. According to a widely circulated—but unverified—report, North Korean troops may have discovered unrestricted internet access and promptly demonstrated why every dictatorship fears broadband more than bombs. Tanks can level buildings. The internet levels narratives. Somewhere, a political commissar is still trying to explain why the greatest threat to operational readiness wasn’t enemy artillery—it was the guest Wi-Fi passsord to PornHub.

Compulsive Precision Disorder: Why Long-Range Shooters Are Not Normal

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Compulsive Precision Disorder (CPD) – Spend enough time around long-range competitive marksmen and you’ll notice something curious. They all have a little… something. They measure powder to the kernel, torque screws to inch-pounds, record weather conditions like NOAA meteorologists, and can spend an hour investigating a single 9-ring hit like it’s the JFK assassination.

To the average person, this borders on insanity.

To a competitive marksman, it’s called Tuesday.

The funny part? Those obsessive personality traits that might seem excessive everywhere else are exactly what the sport rewards. The target doesn’t care about excuses—it only rewards consistency. Maybe that’s why engineers, machinists, scientists, and military veterans seem to thrive on the firing line. In one of the few places on Earth where perfectionism actually pays dividends, a little Compulsive Precision Disorder isn’t a bug…

Department of War: The Day the Batteries Died

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Technology has made us faster, smarter, and more capable than any generation that came before us. But somewhere along the way, we forgot an uncomfortable truth: every technological advantage eventually becomes a dependency. The Romans understood it. Napoleon understood it. The Army wrote it down more than a century ago. Use the calculator. Use the GPS. Use the ballistic computer. But never forget the skills that allow you to function when the batteries die. A truly advanced military isn’t the one that fights brilliantly when everything works. It’s the one that can still fight when nothing does.

Goodbye Lawyers: The Last Billable Hour

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The horse didn’t disappear when the automobile arrived. It simply stopped being essential. Artificial intelligence may be forcing the legal profession into a similar reckoning. When a $20 monthly subscription can research case law, organize evidence, draft motions, and explain legal procedure, the age of the billable hour may finally be facing its greatest challenge. Somewhere, an attorney is still billing in six-minute increments while AI has already finished the paperwork.

Australia, Firearms, and the Canary in the Coal Mine

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Australia’s latest firearm buyback isn’t just a debate about guns. It’s a debate about the relationship between citizens and the state. Supporters see a legitimate public safety measure. Critics see a government placing a price tag on a fundamental human right: self-defense. The controversy reaches far beyond firearms and into larger questions about media, regulation, taxation, and the expanding role of government in modern democracies. Whether Australia represents a successful model or a warning sign depends entirely on where you stand. But the canary in the coal mine has already begun to sing.

The Great Pentagon Camouflage War

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The Great Pentagon Camouflage War may go down as one of the finest examples of what happens when bureaucracy collides head-on with the laws of physics. For thousands of years, armies understood a simple concept: if you’re fighting in the desert, wear desert colors. If you’re fighting in the woods, wear woodland colors. Then someone decided we could outsmart Mother Nature with a “Universal Camouflage Pattern” that would supposedly work everywhere. It turned out to work spectacularly well… provided the enemy attacked in a gravel pit. Afghanistan quickly exposed the fantasy, and after years of testing, billions in replacement equipment, and enough PowerPoint slides to camouflage the Pentagon itself, the Army arrived at the shocking scientific discovery that brown and green actually blend into brown and green. Sometimes the most expensive lesson in military history is learning that physics doesn’t salute generals.

Customer service: ‘Please hold while I disconnect you.’

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Welcome to Unamerican Diversified Health Insurance, a division of Engulf & Devour, where we always stand behind each of our customers because we use them as human shields.

Your call is so important to us that we have an automated system to deal with you instead of a real person. We value your business about as much as we do the Iranian rial.

Living Behind Enemy Lines, Tale #106: Some Liberals Never Got Over The Sense Of Power They Got During Blue State Covid Lockdowns

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Living Behind Enemy Lines, Tale #106: Some Liberals Never Got Over The Sense Of Power They Got During Blue State Covid Lockdowns

The worst part of the unconstitutional Covid economic lock downs in Washington (32 months) and Oregon (25 months) was not the fear that the “Covid police” would arrest you and/or fine you. If you were a business, however, they would and did bankrupt you. The worst part was not knowing when a Liberal would bark at you.

News Highlights of the Week: Trannies belong in cars not women’s sports.

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The information warfare machine continues to spew out its drivel. Objective: Pit you against me, in whatever form that manifests. Man against God, man against women, man against countrymen, it matters not, so long as discord and chaos reign. If you read Don’s take on the news this week, you can skip the psyops and develop a jaundiced eye toward the psyop minions: the media.

Does the Filibuster Still Serve a Purpose?

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The Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act (SAVE) has ripped the scab off of the festering wound we call the Senate filibuster. Requiring proof of citizenship to vote, is favored by over 80 percent of the electorate – at least of those voters who can legally vote. Its passage should be a no-brainer. But apparently the Senate lacks the brains for a no-brainer.